Florida Man Tells Police Prostitute Stole His Wallet, $600

Im going to start off first by posting the story:

FORT PIERCE, Fla. —  A man in Fort Pierce went to the police after a prostitute he hired allegedly stole his wallet, containing $600.

Police say Stanley Copling will not be charged with soliciting a prostitute because they didn’t see the transaction take place.

Copling said his wallet was missing after the woman left Tuesday night. He said he didn’t see her take it, but she was the only person in the room.

Police have no name or detailed suspect information. Copling said the woman had dirty blond hair and blue eyes.

 

While reading this story I couldn’t help but to chuckle a little because I really did not things like this happen.  You always here stories of drug dealers going to the cops trying to report that their drugs had been stolen.  What I think is really funny about this story is the description of the prostitute “dirty blonde hair, and blue eyes.”

Riot on my back porch…

We’re back as promised with the second episode of Finding the Funny.  In this episode we survive flying beer bottles, review the offbeat film Chumscrubber,  and make fun of some spectacularly bad dancing.

Go to the findfunny.net site to see the newest video podcast.

A shocking admission…

I have a shocking admission to make.  After this, friends and family may choose to disown me.  I may be cast into the streets and my name forever erased from memory.

Well, here goes.

I don’t like anime.

It’s true.  I know it’s cool to like anime now, but I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.  For the longest time I had this vague idea that maybe I wasn’t watching the right anime.  That great anime show that was going to change my mind was just right around the corner, and I somehow kept picking the bad ones.

I’ll give you a brief list of the reasons my mind explodes on contact with anime:

1.) Female character voices that reach window shattering pitches.

2.) Musical scores that are stuck in a perpetual crescendo.

3.) Cherry blossoms.  (Just watch one.)

That said, I do like making fun of anime.  Some anime has that perfect blend of awkwardness that is one parts melodrama and one part bad translation.   An anime I recently watched had eloquent episode titles such as “Deep Feeling” and “Attack.”  Priceless.

Even though I enjoy making fun of anime, I may have to stop watching.  If you read my previous post, you know that I’m convinced Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator is watching over everything we do and lurking behind every closed door.  What is the problem with anime, you may ask.  If you have to ask, then I may kindly inquire, have you ever watched anime?

Preteen looking girls with huge breasts are something of an anime theme.  Without disproportionate women that constantly shriek and cry, I’d say it’s not genuine anime.  You may have been duped.

Chris definitely would not approve.

New Podcast!

Finding the Funny now has a video podcast! We’ll keep doing regular blog posts, but check back each week for a new episode of the podcast.

You can find the podcast at findfunny.net.

Hope you enjoy, and leave comments here or there.

Back Alleys of the Internets

Have you ever been meandering through the flowery fields of the internet, only to wander (somehow) into one of its dark alleys? Somewhere where you might see something like this?

(Fair Warning: This post is a little NSFW!)
…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

This has always been one of the greatest mysteries of the internet for me. Do lonely, horny men, seeing this advertisement, actually sign up believing they’re going to “find a friend tonight” that looks like that? I’m sorry guys, but let’s use a little common sense. Attractive women get hit on all the time. Somehow I don’t think they’re going to be online anxiously awaiting farmerjoe01’s e-invite over to his bachelor pad.

Maybe I’m wrong.

I have to say that nothing freaks me out more than those weird “dress up” banners. I can handle the banners that beg you to “win the race” or “shoot the bad guys”, but these things make me feel like a pedophile even looking at them. I’d rather be caught watching porn than playing dress up with a banner ad, really. Do women play with these ads? I’m confused. I’m also too afraid to just click on it and see what happens, for fear that Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator would step out of the shadows.

I think it’s safe to say when you start seeing ads for adult friend finder and zwinky’s, you’re engaged in one of the following:

A.) Watching porn.

B.) Looking for torrents.

C.) Reading this.

Remember everybody, Chris Hansen is watching.

Let the chaos begin…

Because this whole blog thing just looks like it needs a little help getting off the ground, I think I’ll throw my voice into the ring. What can you expect to find here? Hopefully things that will make you laugh or even think a little. If you were hoping for deep 2am soul searching sessions, you’re out of luck. I’ve always thought reading that kind of stuff was like watching paint dry.

No, I’ll be writing about things like the impending end of the world. You haven’t heard about it?

Russia: Poland risks attack due to U.S. missiles.

So, the U.S. basically says to Russia, “Hey, look over there!” and then tries to slip these Interceptor doo-dads into Russia’s backyard. Russia says, “WTF, mate?” when they stop beating the shit out of Georgia long enough to notice. Various semi-sober looking Russian generals with too many medals get on TV and imply that the world will end if Poland gets the missile.

In all seriousness, holy shit.

I thought worrying about the world spontaneously exploding was something only my parents had to have anxiety attacks about. In all fairness, for those that are bashing Russia on this, the U.S. would do the exact same thing if Castro was going to host a “defense shield” for Russia. I mean really, what would you do if something like this showed up in your backyard?

It looks like the Death Star. I’d be a little worried.

I’m waiting for the public service announcements and school drills to make a comeback. If you don’t have a 1950s style school desk to duck under, you may want to find one soon. Apparently that’s all that stands between you and nuclear annihilation.

All fear mongering aside (CNN and Fox have that base covered), I can just imagine Dr. Strangelove in an underground fortress somewhere cackling wildly.

Here’s to hoping whoever wins the election can get along with Mr. Putin. For that matter, I hope many presidents down the line will be able to get along with him, because I don’t see him going anywhere soon.

Anyway! That’s how this blog is going to be, so hopefully it wasn’t a bad read. If it was, stick around, maybe I’ll get funnier/smarter.